When I start reading a new blog, I always enjoy reading the "about me" because it allows me to get to know the person and connect with them. I'm sharing my story with all of you so that you get a better understanding of who I am.
As a child, I was always "healthy", or in other worlds slightly overweight. In 9th grade I lost a lot of weight, but not in the healthiest way. I basically restricted my eating. The newly found attention was flattering at first, but it made me even more self-conscious. That's when my relationship with food started on its roller coaster. In high school, I would never eat breakfast, barely eat lunch, get home from school and have a bowl of cereal and a small dinner. Freshman year at college, my roommate and I hated the cafeteria food so we would fill up on junk food. Obviously, I gained some weight back and felt disgusted with my body. I was constantly on diets and counting every calorie. The funny thing is, I didn't care what I put in my body. If not eating the whole day meant I could eat a sundae for dinner, I was fine. Two years ago, I started to care about the foods that went into my body. I changed my eating habits to include real food and started exercising regularly. I was living on my own at the time and with graduation creeping up I started to feel anxious. I started to have uncontrollable binges that would leave me feeling disgusted and ashamed. I think it's important for me to point out that throughout this whole ordeal, I was never overweight. I just thought I was. It was a vicious cycle of hating my body -> feeling depressed -> binges-> restricting ->guilt/shame ->hating my body. I finally came to the realization that my negative thoughts were harming my body.
This past year my food philosophy has changed even more. I now feel more in control of my life. Sure I still have the occasional negative thoughts when I overindulge, but I am learning to redirect those thoughts and love my body. Exercising has played a huge role in my learning to accept my body. Through running I can clear my head and release some of my tension. Through yoga, I've learned to appreciate my body and admire it. Both of these things have taught me how incredibly strong and beautiful the human body is.